14: Reprogramming the No: How to Rise Above Rejection & Self-doubt

read time 3 minutes

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Content Summary:

• Essay: Reprogramming the no: How to rise above rejection & self-doubt
• Quote: A perspective shift
• Visual: Focus on the yes's, not the no's

Reprogramming the no: How to rise above rejection & self-doubt

What if I told you that by the time you turned 18, your mind had been trained to expect rejection?

We hear “no” an average of 148,000 times by the time we’re 18, according to Shad Helmstetter in "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself." Compare that to only 5,000 yes’s. That kind of imbalance programs us to think we’re not enough, even before we fully realize it.

If you’ve ever felt like negativity was your default setting, I’ve been there, too.

For years, I struggled with doubting my ability to present at a high level or even contribute meaningfully in meetings.

My inner gremlin constantly whispered, “You don’t have anything to say.” This wasn’t new—back in my college soccer days, that inner critic showed up before every big game, convincing me I was never good enough. But here's the thing: the problem isn’t just the no’s we hear—it’s how we process them.

The key is to intentionally  shift your narrative. Instead of letting the “no” define you, flip the script.

Every no is just a steppingstone to a yes.

I made it a game—each no brought me closer to that yes. Our minds are wired for negativity, but with a bit of intention, you can rewire it.

Here’s a tip: every time your inner gremlin speaks up, write it down.

Challenge it.

You’ll be amazed at how quickly your perspective changes. And when the yes comes, it feels even better. You’re not defined by the no’s or the doubts.

You’re defined by how you rise above them.

A Visual - Focus on the yes's, not the no's

Image Source: (1) Visual Hustles (@visual_hustles) / X

Until next week...thanks for reading!

Jon Giganti Author. Speaker. Leader.

Attention requires a focused head.
Intention requires a focused heart.

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