3 Things : Show up filled up, build deeper relationships & increase your influence

I recently got called out from a close friend and truth teller. It hurt for a bit. I quickly recovered because I realized it was true. More importantly, I realized I could do something about it. 

He told me I was operating from a selfish point of view. He used the term "self-absorbed". He was right. He witnessed me in a small group setting complaining about a situation I was in versus finding a way to serve the people in the group. 

My goal is always the opposite - I want to be of service and add value to those I come across. But, I'm human, just like you. Over time, this crept up on me. It's like the boiling water analogy. To get to 212 degrees, when water boils, it's a subtle climb from 0 to 212. If you're a frog in the water (as the famous analogy says), you don't see it coming, and then it gets you. As humans, it's the same thing. 

My mindset got hacked. How about you? How's your mindset? Showing up, filled up is a mindset that this truth teller, Kary Oberbrunner, lives by. He's also written a book about it - it's called "Show up, filled up" - and, yes, I re-read it and it hit home differently this time. You should read it - everyone should read it - it's that good. 

Here are three things on showing up, filled up:

1. Idea - A crucial element to showing up filled up is to listen. I mean really listen. Be open to what's in front of you. What the person is saying. What they're feeling. What their non-verbals are communicating. This isn't easy. We often want to get our words out and make it about us. It's how we're wired. Being a good listener is the first step to serving the person or group in front of you. The best salespeople, by the way, are the best listeners : )
2. Quote - "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." - Peter Drucker
3. Call to Action - In your next conversation with someone, just show up ready to serve and listen. Come with curiosity and be genuine about it. Use the phrase "tell me more" and just stay quiet and listen. See how long you can get the person talking. 

P.S. Pick up the book as well and if you dig audio books, this format is awesome on Audible where the author, Kary, is in conversation with his colleague, Mike, talking through these concepts. 

Be intentional!

Jon